‘I only have sex with my fiancé once a year’ – pregnant lady says
A MUM has revealed she only has sex with her fiance once a year on December 25 – describing it as his “Christmas present”.
Jen Stephens, 23, from Prestwich, Manchester, imposes a year-long bonking ban and reckons her man Rob Walker, 24, appreciates her all the more because of it.
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, Jen says: “I know it sounds crazy but this works for us.
“The fact we set aside Christmas for sex has actually made us stronger as a couple, we want each other even more now.
“We’re happy to just kiss and cuddle for the rest of the year.”
While most families are settling down to watch the Queen’s speech, part-time sales assistant Jen and trainee IT manager Rob will be celebrating their ‘merry sex-mas’.
The pair are parents to three-month-old Arabella, who was conceived on Christmas Day 2019.
Jen says: “Just because we’re not bonkers for bonking doesn’t make us crazy.
“The sex itself makes the anticipation and build up worth it. It’s the best day of the year – why not make it even better?
“I don’t expect people to understand our rules. We’re doing things our way and don’t care what other people think.
“Our relationship is stronger for our once-a-year sex vow and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
The twenty-something pair are not alone in valuing old fashioned romance over regular sex.
According to a recent survey, published in The Guardian, 40 per cent of 18-24-year-olds have never had sex and six per cent have sex less than once a year.
Millennials are blaming work pressure, exhaustion and a value for relationships over the amount of sex for their flagging libidos.
For Jen, having sex with her man is the ultimate festive gift.
She says: “December 25 has special significance for us so we decided to make it super special.
“I met Rob in 2017 on Christmas Day, at party friends of mine held. He was studying business and IT at University of Manchester and stayed in the city over the holidays.”
After the chance meeting, the couple started dating.
Jen says: “We got to know each other and both wanted to take it slow. I’d just dated a guy for 12 months and it ended badly.
“Rob had a similar experience with a previous girlfriend and he wanted to be sure the next time he had sex with someone that she was right for him.”
In January, Rob started a year-long exchange programme in LA, so the pair had a long-distance romance.
Jen says: “We spent hours on the phone and video calling each other, it made our connection so much stronger.”
When Rob returned home for Christmas in 2018, they decided to spend the day alone – and made love for the first time.
Jen says: “It was like we’d done it a million times before. We’d spent so much time talking to each other – discussing everything from sex to favourite foods.
“We were intimate on all levels, not just sexually. We don’t have to prove ourselves by constantly shagging.”
A week later, Rob proposed on New Year’s Eve.
But in the new year, he started working for an IT company, spending much of his time travelling while Jen worked full-time in Manchester.
She says: “Sex for us was never a priority. It was all about cuddles and closeness.
“I told Rob we should have a sex ban until the next Christmas because it had worked so well the year before.
“He honestly wasn’t shocked when I suggested it. We were already engaged so he knew I was committed, and we thought it would make Christmas extra special.”
Although she accepts many people won’t understand their sex rules, Jen says they’re not alone among their friendship group.
She says: “We told a couple of our friends in long term relationships, who revealed they only had sex a couple of times a year too.
“Most of the time I was too shattered to get interested in sex and Rob was so busy with work, we just loved the fact we had each other.
“Last Christmas, the sex was amazing and we did it five times.
“I found out we’d conceived our first child on Christmas Day three weeks later and we were both absolutely thrilled.
“That’s when we both knew our sex ban until Christmas was the best decision we ever made.”
Jen gave birth to Arabella on October 2 this year, three weeks late, after a gruelling 42-hour labour.
She says: “My pregnancy was exhausting. I had terrible morning sickness.
“We ended up stuck in California after travelling there to visit Rob’s dad the week before lockdown hit.
“Rob’s job allowed him to work remotely and I was too poorly to even think about sex.
“When Arabella arrived, we both fell in love with her.
“We both want her to have a brother or sister close in age, so the pressure is on for me to conceive again this Christmas.
“We are both determined to create another Christmas miracle and are convinced our year-long sex ban is one of the reasons we’ll be successful.
“As new parents, we’re even more exhausted but we wouldn’t change a thing.
“I can’t wait for Christmas Day. I know Rob’s excited too and the anticipation of finally having sex makes it even more exciting.
“Rob had better jingle my bells and give me another baby.”